Who Doesn't Want to be a Millionaire?

I have been in love with Television for over 40 years.  Because of my devotion to Television, I once took the written test for the game show Who Wants to be a Millionaire.  Not the regular one, I am fully aware of my intelligence limitations, but the special week where all the questions they ask are about television shows.  Out of about 40 questions I got two wrong. 

When you pass the written test you are immediately interviewed by one of the young assistants.  The girl who interviewed me was young enough to be my daughter.  We were getting along great -- I was charming and amusing her with my self-deprecating wit about my age; she was laughing and nodding her head. 

I was in!!!!  Oh yes, I was writing my life in my head -- during taping, Meredith Viera and I are hitting it off.  We're joking and laughing, becoming fast friends.  We're lunching at Mesa Grill.  Meredith is telling me she wants to introduce me to a single friend who she thinks will love me ...



My Future Husband
George Clooney



And then it happened.  The little girl asks me "do you tape shows and make notations about them?”  I love Television more than most people, but the only person who would answer “yes” to that question is that creepy kid with the pimples in the junior high A/V club.

“I love t.v. but I’m not a nerd,” I blurt out to the girl, who I realize for the first time, IS a nerd.  Everything about her screams NERD.  From her mousy brown hair pushed back behind her larger than normal ears that stick out a little, to her nerdy glasses and nerdy clothes.”

People have always told me that my facial expressions give me away.  My face ratted me out.  It said "Oh yes, oops, sorry.  I now see you are indeed a very nerdy little girl."  It then went on to giggle and sing-song:

"Nerdy nerdy nerd girl

makes all the boys want to hurl"

Velma of Scooby Doo Fame

And if my face wasn’t enough, I sealed my fate of never becoming Mrs. George Clooney by saying "not that there’s anything wrong with that.” 

Damn you Seinfeld episodes that are always in my head!