That’s how I had to introduce myself during a 1990 stint in an eating disorder clinic. This facility housed all sorts of addicts – food, drugs, and alcohol.
Every Friday night we had one big “anonymous” meeting where all us addicts discussed our particular obsession. The facility psychologists had us introduce ourselves with our specific label. For some people, the label was obvious.
Like the poor little anorexics. When you’re a 27 year old adult and weigh only 78 pounds, you’re either living in a poverty stricken third world country – or an anorexic.
The hardcore alcoholic was easy to find because of the bulbous red nose. It’s called Rhinophyma. They say alcoholism doesn’t cause it – but it certainly aggravates it!
The worst example I’ve ever seen was a professional brandy tester. If you can handle it, click here.
Go ahead, I dare ya!
Anyway since I have no neck and my fat little face sits directly on my shoulders, it was very obvious that that I was a compulsive overeater. Ergo my label
“Hello my name is Annie and I’m a compulsive overeater.”
During the daily group therapy sessions with my fellow COs, anorexics and bulimics we were asked not only about our food issues, but about any alcohol or drug use. When I was younger I enjoyed drugs on a recreational basis. By the time I entered the facility I hadn’t smoked or snorted anything in quite some time so I don’t know why I felt compelled to share my HILARIOUS hooligan stories with my new friends.
… the time we smoked pot, ate cereal, and watched Bugs Bunny …
… the time we got so drunk and went dancing at Studio 54 …
Lesson learned – psychologists won’t find your “we drank a bottle of Yago Sangria, did a hit of mescaline and took the F train to Rockefeller Center to check out the Christmas lights” story as funny as you do.
The last Friday “anonymous” meeting I attended before I was released, I had to introduce myself
“Hi, my name is Annie. I’m a compulsive overeater,
alcoholic, drug addict, addicted to nicotine.”
I still enjoy an occasional glass of wine, or martini, or mojito, but I haven’t done drugs in about 25 years, and I finally quit smoking in January 2008.
But oh, how I love my food. An open box is an empty box, I say. I’ve already told you about the Oreo cookie incident. (The time I ate so many Oreo cookies that the next morning I crapped black and thought I was bleeding internally).
Through the years I’ve gained weight, lost weight and gained it back again. I’ve been on Weight Watchers, Atkins, liquid proteins, and most every diet known to man. It’s a struggle that I will have to endure for the rest of my life. Some days are better than others and I know that even if I were to reach my goal weight, I would always struggle. This is my fact of life.
I am an addict and FOOD is my drug of choice!
HOWEVER!! I REPEAT HOWEVER!!
I pray that if I ever got so friggin fat and couldn't get out of a chair to take a shit my family and friends would say
“ENOUGH”
 |
| Carol Yager (1960 - 1994) |
Don't let me die in bed like 1000 pound Carol Yager.
Don't let me end up like the morbidly obese man in Ohio who was found unconscious yesterday and had to be cut out of a chair. His skin had fused to the fabric because he sat there for two years, sitting in his own filth, covered in maggots.**
His roommate and girlfriend fed him, since he was unable to get up to feed himself. Shame on them!
**The update to this since I started writing this post, is that he has died.
ATTENTION PLEASE
If I ever call and say
“Hey, how ya doing? Yeah, listen, I know I’m so fat that I can’t get out of bed, but I’m really craving a few boxes of Ring Dings, a bucket of KFC chicken and a pizza. Would you mind bringing them over?”
JUST SAY NO!!!
When you’re so fat you can’t get out of a bed or a chair to crap, bathe and feed yourself … it’s time to stop eating!
Or you could always get married ....
Forgive me for the gratuitous pictures of food.... Oh and I found this Oprah cake -- how freaky is this?
Wow! Thank God you know your limits. Poor woman someone had to feed her. The poor man the people that fed him the food should be facing charges for manslaughter. If they kept him in bed and did not feed him they would be charged.
ReplyDeleteI know a woman whose husband had a bad heart and circulation because of smoking cigaretes. He lost his leg. He continued to smoke because his "Loving Wife" continued to buy them for him. YES HE HAS PASSED AWAY. GOD HELP HIM NOW!
Well my thinking is sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to follow Nancy Regan's advice in the 80's: Just say no. Not everyone has an "off" switch.
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