To Slice or Not to Slice, that is the Question

Okay, so I turn on The Doctors this morning and they are in the middle of a very heated debate about a proposed ban on circumcision in San Francisco.  Dr. Sears, the pediatrician, is so violently arguing against circumcision that he brings up “female circumcision” and how it was outlawed. 

Listen, I don’t care which side of the debate you fall on, but Dr. Sears?  That procedure is so barbaric it isn’t called circumcision -- it’s called female genital mutilation.  Dr. Sears sounded like a turtleneck sporting misogynist.

mi·sog·y·nist (m -s j -n st). n. One who hates women. adj. Of or characterized by a hatred of women.

The Turtleneck vs. The German Helmet

To slice or not to slice, that is the question.  It used to be for religious reasons that Jews and Muslims donned the German Helmet.  Gentiles sported the Turtleneck look until about the 1940’s when the foreskin chop became the fad here in the United States.

These days more and more parents are opting out of the baby boy nip/tuck, and there is a whole world of people out there so dedicated to the turtleneck that they have websites and hold demonstrations. 

THE WHOLE PEEN AND NOTHING BUT THE PEEN

http://www.thewholenetwork.org/ is a site in support of the turtleneck.  It also has another 13 links which means you could spend a whole day surfing the internet and read about nothing but peen.  Not a bad way to spend a rainy day, but today’s a sunny day, so I'll leave the surfing to you.

On March 30^th there’s a march on Washington.  They say they have all the banners and signs so you don’t have to bring anything – well except for your proud Turtleneck or regretful German Helmet.

Apparently Mario Lopez took a pro-turtleneck stand. 

It doesn’t say whether he sports one, just that he supports one.  They even have a form letter that you can fill out to thank him for his support.

Savingpenises.org

This is one of the links I visited because the name cracks me up.  I don’t care where you stand on the debate, but isn’t “saving a penis” a bit of an overstatement?  It’s just a little bit of skin, you’ve got a whole other 6 inches, more or less (depending on whether you’re celebrating St. Patty’s Day today).

Save the Whale!

Save the Dolphin!

Save the Penis!



Come on, How could I NOT put this dick's picture here!



You can buy your little baby boy turtleneck a bib



available at http://www.savingpenises.org/



AUNT ANNIE'S OPINION

I think circumcision gives the penis a personality -- a face, if you will.  And the slicing is baby’s first face lift.  At least you know what you’re getting with the German Helmet. 

It says “hi there, what you see is what you get.  How can I be of service?” 

The turtleneck has been known to be sneaky – what lurks behind that foreskin? 

Smegma? 

A scary clown face?   

Jimmy Hoffa?

And for those German Helmets out there who are missing your Turtleneck, I found this for you --  a wonderful tribute ….

I asked Antonio, the pet monkey what he has to say about circumcision

And to all my wee little Irish peens out there today,-- Happy St. Patrick's Day to ya lads.