Game Show Contestants

There are only two game shows I enjoy -- Jeopardy and The Price is Right.  I'll occasionally watch Wheel of Fortune against my will only because I'm too lazy to search for the remote when Jeopardy ends.  I have contempt for stupid game show contestants, that's why I shy away from Wheel of Fortune -- too many dim-wits.

TPIR, as it's known to us cool "in the know" people, is one of the longest running game shows.  It's been around so long it has reached cult status.  I remember watching it as a kid when I was home from school sick with asthma, wheezing and puffing on my inhaler. 

THE PRICE IS RIGHT 

The Clock Game 

The game is one of the easiest games on TPIR.  This is the game I would want to play if I was ever a contestant on the show.  It's also one of the first games invented for the show.  I found a clip of a woman playing for a $600 microwave and a $6,700 brand new Pontiac.  Bob Barker is young with brown hair.  The woman played the game almost to perfection and ended up winning both prizes.  It's over 3 minutes, but if you're so inclined, this is how the game should be played.

Fast forward 30 years.  Microwaves cost $80, there's no such thing as Pontiac, and white-haired Bob Barker looks like he died two months ago and forgot to lie down. 

You would think that by now people would know how to play the game. 

JEOPARDY!

Jeopardy contestants are smart.  Oh sure, every now and then a moron sneaks through and that's when I get to yell at the t.v.

 

"Not so smart now, huh big shot?"

"Who'd you pay off to get on the show?"

But let's face it, most of the Jeopardy contestants are more like that IBM Watson computer than they are human beings.  And if you don't believe me, just listen to the interview segment next time the show is on.  They are either very boring or very wierd.

Ken Jennings is a funny humanoid!

Game Show Contestants I Hate, In No Particular Order

Let's face it.  There are some people you automatically dislike for no particular reason.  Well, I feel that way about game show contestants.  There are some people I dislike immediately and it makes me happy when they lose.   I know that sounds petty, but I don't give a crap.

 The person on Wheel of Fortune who has over $10K, knows the puzzle and spins again.  You Greedy Bastard. 

It makes me yell, once again at the t.v.

"BANKRUPT, BANKRUPT, BANKRUPT"



When they hit Bankrupt I hoot and holler like I’m at a rodeo.  And I know you do too!!

The unattractive woman on TPIR who thinks she’s sexy and makes pouty faces at the camera instead of paying attention to the game.  You aren’t pretty, you’re making an ass out of yourself, and I want to smack the crap out of you.  Just play the freaking game.

 The doofus who makes it up on stage on TPIR and can't make a single decision without looking out at the people he came with for help.

There was a girl on just the other day.  Cute kid.  I liked her, I actually wanted her to win.  Oh, don't be so shocked!  I did want her to win.

But would she listen to me?  Noooooo! 

There I am yelling at her

"LOWER!  LOWER!" 

But instead she listened to the geniuses she came with and ended up not winning the car.

Then, when she was spinning the wheel to see if she would be in the showcase showdown, Drew says “who would you like to say hello to?” 

She says “my friends and family in the audience.  Woo Hoo, I love you guys!”

I’m like “really?  You mean those losers who just cost you a 2011 Hyundai Sonata?

 

  

The stupidest moment on game show history, for me, was an episode of Family Feud. 

The question was:  Name an animal that begins with the letter R

Brother # 1                   Rabbit

Brother # 2                   Raccoon             

Brother # 3                   Rhododendron

Rhododendron -- a PLANT!

And what do Brothers 1 and 2 say?  “Good answer, good answer.”

No, it's NOT a good answer!

You stupid, stupid people!

 

If that was me and my brothers that episode would have gone a completely different way.

First the censors would have had to step in:

"Rhododendron?  Rhododendron?  It's a fu*king plant! 

What are you?  A fu*king moron?"

Then security would step in as the brawl starts.

Nope, we don't like stupid game show contestants, even if it's in the family.