According to a new Gallup-Healthways poll, West Virginia is the most obese state in the nation, edging out Mississippi by a mere .5%. The Center for Disease Control sent scientists to West Virginia to find out why they are so obese. The CDC hasn’t heard from the scientists yet. Maybe they were eaten.
Colorado is the least obese state, but don’t pack your bags yet, “least obese” is still one out of every five people.
America – we’re fat!
It was the early 2000’s when I first heard the term “obesity epidemic.” I thought it was a bit overdramatic. I even talked about it in my stand-up routine:
Obesity epidemic? Epidemic? Oh No!! Fat people running
amok in the streets! Okay, so they’re waddling, whatever!
Enter the Obesity Police
I walked into McDonald’s and ordered my usual, the crispy chicken sandwich with fries (the number 7.) It came on a whole wheat roll.
Listen, Ronald, I'm in McDonald's. Apparently I'm not too fussy about what's going into my body right now. I do not want my 600 calorie crispy chicken sandwich on whole wheat. If I wanted “healthy” I’d have stayed home and munched on a carrot.
The Obesity Police have gained more and more power. Now they’re everywhere. They’ve taken away trans-fats, they want to tax soda, and they have a HUGE problem with breakfast cereal cartoon characters.
Kelloggs quickly caved to the pressure. No more commercials featuring beloved childhood cereal mascots.
The new Fruit Loops commercial has a kid playing doctor telling his friend “Fruit Loops is good for your tummy because of all the fiber.” Yawn!
Playing "Doctor" was a lot more exciting when I was a kid. Not only are kids these days fatter than us, they don't even know that a game of "doctor" is really "show me yours I'll show you mine."
THE END OF THE GNOMES
The unthinkable happened -- after 74 years the most famous gay gnomes of all time, Snap Crackle and Pop, vanished from the airwaves. They even appeared on The Howdy Doody Show back in the 60’s. Three harmless little chaps who enjoyed a bowl of Rice Krispies together. Yes I said gay. Think about it -- crazy hats, bright shirts and ascots -- ascots! -- need I say more?
Yet even with all these new rules and regulations obesity is on the rise! Look around, stand on line in a bank. Go to Applebee's. Even our animals are obese. Check out how many diet dog food products are on the market.
Zoos in China have put pandas on exercise programs because they’re too fat to mate. How do panda bears get so obese that they can’t mate? Don’t they eat bamboo? Isn’t bamboo a vegetable? Whose sneaking Twinkies to Ling Ling?
Donna Simpson is a 600 pound New Jersey woman whose goal is to weigh 1000 pounds. She doesn’t care about the obesity epidemic. She makes money by posting pictures and videos on a website. People pay to watch her eat and do household chores.
I repeat: People PAY to watch her eat!
Fans send her food and coupons for fast food joints. She lists one of her hobbies as having someone feed her. Personally, I like to paint flowers, but hey, how great is her hobby?
I repeat: People PAY to watch her eat!
 |
| Courtesy NY Post.com |
Fans send her food and coupons for fast food joints. She lists one of her hobbies as having someone feed her. Personally, I like to paint flowers, but hey, how great is her hobby?
Maybe we should take a tip from Donna Simpson. Putting aside heart disease, diabetes and needing a Jazzy Scooter to get around, she might be on to something. She doesn’t stress about eating.
Stress makes us fat!
The new medical research has concluded that cortisol, a stress hormone, is making us fat.
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=53304
It makes so much sense -- think about it ...
the anxiety you felt the last time you went off your diet;
the self-loathing as you ate that slice of cheesecake;
the mea culpa as you devoured so many Oreo cookies the next day you crapped black (um, okay maybe that was just me).
It makes so much sense -- think about it ...
the anxiety you felt the last time you went off your diet;
the self-loathing as you ate that slice of cheesecake;
the mea culpa as you devoured so many Oreo cookies the next day you crapped black (um, okay maybe that was just me).
It’s STRESS that’s making you fat!!
To see the original Post article on Donna Simpson:
To see the Gallup poll and article:
No comments:
Post a Comment