Dirty Bunny Pish Soup

In February over 400 people attended a fund raiser at the Playboy mansion.  Over 100 of them developed a respiratory illness, including fever and headache. 

"It is scary everyone came down with the same thing at the same time," says one participant. "It knocked me off my feet for five days," says another.  "I'm over it now, but I'm still feeling fatigue, which is not a good thing."

Perhaps it’s the fog machine on the dance floor, they said.   I tend to agree:



Yep, that's what it is -- the fog machine.  I’ve been to parties with fog machines

and I’ve needed to use my asthma inhaler – Stupid fog machines!



Two months later, epidemiologists can now confirm that it was a milder form of Legionnaires’ disease known as Pontiac disease.  The culprit?

Vapors from the hot tub at the Playboy mansion.

Do I hear a collective “ewwwwwwwwwww”???

What's Up Doc?  I have Legionnaire's Disease, that's what's up!

Legionnaires' disease acquired its name in July 1976 when an outbreak of pneumonia occurred among people attending a convention at a hotel.

INDOORS!

What kind of God-awful thing was brewing in the Playboy hot tub that was so potent it infected people milling around the grounds – OUTDOORS!?

Even BigFoot can figure out Dirty Bunny Pish Soup

 

I’ve sat poolside on cruise ships and watched people plop themselves into the hot tub.  When they exit others willingly take their place.  Young, old, skinny, fat, black, white – and all those skin cells are sloughing off into the hot water. 

You really don't know whose in that human bouillabaisse with you.  Does that man have a festering boil on his ass?  Does that woman have a yeast infection?  You really don't know, do you?

How most people view Hot Tubs

How Aunt Annie sees Hot Tubs

If Legionnaires’ disease isn’t enough to keep you out of a hot tub, how about Folliculitis?  It’s an infection caused by bacteria that survives in hot tubs. 

First you get an itchy, bumpy, red rash; and then the bumps can turn into dark red, tender nodules.  Oh yeah, and the bumps may fill with pus! 

And of course, you could always find yourself in a hot tub with this girl

So go ahead -- relax in that hot tub – I dare ya!

Recipe for Dirty Bunny Pish Soup

1     Very Old Man

12   Very Skanky Females

3     Medium-sized Carrots

2     Viagra

Boil at 104°F until  contaminated

Serves 100